Thirst_23

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:D Here's the first part of Chapter 2 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 2 The Streets of San Pedro That first night passed like a dream. I wondered aimlessly through the streets of ...

Here's the FIRST section of Chapter 1, revised. Tell me if it's any better. The Night Chronicles; Thirst Book 1- The Hunter To everything there is a season A time ...

It's good. Keep them coming. Just a few reminders; You get repetive with your word choice a little too often. And, I'm not certain I understand the....fascination with Kiki's breasts. ...

This was well thought out, but you need to go back and reread more outloud. It's amazing how things sound different in your hand than they wind up on paper. ...

Write more? You're wish is my command.

Banned for being too young.

I...er...kinda do...it's a bad habit of mine...mostly because I like to use them... yuck...yuck...yuck....

Dracula sucked. Boooring. Pork I admit, late 19th century doesn't translate well. still rocks, and hey, he's the father of all modern day vampires, the great-grandady of them all. Sigh...of ...

Hi, TinkerJessica. I just thought I'd let you know that you're not supposed to bump threads on this site. Also, they ask you to read other peoples stuff more than ...

We know it's an accident. That's why you post stuff here, so others will review, and help you spot these things. ;)

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I am a fan as well. You use a lot of the same words over and over again. I recommend getting a good thesaurus. For instance, in describing the uncle's ...

Hi... Cool screen name. What style of vampires do you like? See you around.