Thirst_23

Ok, I don't have many point to point grammatical concerns, but this is way too short. Each scene may be needed, but each of them needs to be much, much ...

Book One: Changed “Therefore, just as through one man sin entered into the world, and death through sin, so death spread to all men, because all sinned---” -Romans 5:12 1 ...

Guys, this is just my prologue. Dracula is not my main character. Oh, well, I suppose I'll have to post in order from now on the keep you in the ...

So, the reason I haven't posted in some time is that I've been busy, and reworking things so that it better reflects what I have in mind. This is my ...

what about if the parts of your love story seem like their to similar to someone elses, even if the characters are completely different? And advice for those situations? I'm ...

This is really good. My one comment is about some sentence structure. "It seems so long ago that I had been sitting in my house mending dresses and stockings and ...

Did you think I should have introdcued him by name sooner?

This is really awesome. I love the bantar, and the movement of the dialogue is perfect. I also like the Life bit. Umm...yeah, keep up the good work!

Good stuff, but I think you could study Rowling's writing style a little better. It'd be more interesting of you tried to think more about the voices the characters already ...

Keep up the good work. You have a nice eye. I don't believe much can be done about the pink spot without using photshop or something, but I could be ...

At last the twilight hours began. My skin was heavily sunburned, even though I’d kept to the shadows as much as possible. I set out, for anywhere but where I ...

The morning burned on. I sat curled up in a ball next to a dumpster, shivering. I was trapped between two worlds; the wild, crazy instinct that feared any movement ...

Ok, I can barely make heads or tails of this. Many of the paragraphs are so long I can't begin to take it apart. In the last paragraph, you have ...

Oh, my goodness, Meadow, that was amazing. And no, I don't think you did ever change the Horseman's name, but I might be so late, you did and already changed ...

Ok I trust you, o wise storyteller!