TheWalkinDude

Author's Note: Okay, this is another part to my short story. It took me a while to finally start writing, but I did finally get on it. I included part ...

Build Me Freedom On This Day In an empty barn on (I think you meant this word here instead) a desolate farm leaves litter the ground . (period) S poken ...

Well.... Okay, let's see here. I must say that this poem is... well, it's a mouthful. Poetically, I'll admit, it's pretty good. It shows good writing skills and a bit ...

That looks an awful lot like He-Man.

Okay, since this is for fun, I'm doing Nate! monkey.jpeg

Yes. I will admit, I am not in love with this poem as I've been with some of your others, but I really liked how you wrote this. In short, ...

Well, certainly a vague poem you've got here. Pain throbs on the thought of my wake. A silver castle, crumbles. With every breath I take. Nothing is left to hold ...

Man, this reminds me a little bit of "Denis the Menace". Good show and movies and all, but I'm just saying. Well, except I don't think his adventures went so ...

Winter is not one of my favorite seasons. I'm a summer and fall person, because that's when all the swimming, camping, and hiking is! But despite the fact of winter ...

Wow. Heavy, dude. However heavy, this was still a nicely written piece of work. In a sense it kind of reminded me of a monologue, except in poetic form. I ...

I Never thought.............. First problem here is the overuse of those dots. The correct way to do those dots is to put three in a row (...) when you're interjecting ...

As far as the repetition goes, I'll admit, I'm not the biggest fan. Repetition, at least to me, is a tricky sort of thing. If you don't do it right ...

I agree with Pharnack as far as making the impression you want to get across more dominate and I agree with Ashley about this being open enough for others to ...

Howdy and welcome! Nice poem. I love the whole aspect of nature in this. It makes it more appealing and gentle, uplifting and nice to read. My only concern was: ...

heh, haikus... they make me smile. This is a good haiku, despite it not being about nature. The purpose of a haiku is typically to express things about nature. Not ...