TheRazzle

I really liked it! It was intense for a poem about wanting to be saintly. Very strong wording, which goes well with not wanting to go to hell. I liked ...

(Hee hee I loved it Blondie!! You made Davie sound totaly awesome, and scary. he might actually thank you for being afraid of him. We sorta had a plan for ...

Davnick I looked at Reva, curious. My sonar had been running non-stop at a request from Everlee, just in case the army decided to come back, and I had notced ...

I agree with Shadow, good job! The rhyme scheme was simple, but that worked for this piece. I agree that you could have expanded on her death, I also had ...

Very nice, I love the mental picture that you paint. Enough detail to help the reader see what you want, but enough left in the dark so the reader can ...

Aww Blondie... I feel your pain. I really liked it, and every time you edit it, it gets better. I don't know what to say, that hasn't already ben said, ...

I like it, very sad. I agree with Demoness, the lines don't flow they way they could, and the rhyme doesn't have a pattern. Also, the first stanza is the ...

Davnick I shrugged. "Go for it Reva. Just be sure you scare them off." She snorted. "I don't need you to tell me that Dav. " She sneered. "Stop calling ...

Davnick I looked over to where everybody but Tige and Reva were hiding in the hole. I looked at the bear. "Okay, now you go." I said. He just sat ...

Davnick "Neither." I told him. We are going to hide." I looked to either side, and saw a hole in the underbrush big enough for all of us to file ...

Davnick "She's still out." Says Everlee, turning away from me. I rub my chaffed wrists. They don't hurt too bad, but they're red and raw. Still functional though. I leap ...

Davnick I rolled my eyes. I seemed to be doing that a lot with this group. Jared just looked me, and asked again. He started to get angry. "Will you ...

Davnick I watched with amusement as the Rogues began to turn on one another. Tess, the Rogue with long black hair and fierce eyes, was seriously irritated that she hadn't ...

Davnick I considered the offer. There was no way I was going to let Everlee Pond out of my sight. That girl had a hefty bounty on her head, enough ...

Davnick I sit quietly as Reva panics over her Pet. "Where is he?" She demands again. The girl who was sitting on me earlier... or yesterday? It was yesterday judging ...