TheForgottenAuthor

Thank you :) To clear things up: He doesn't want to 'hurt her' per se, he wants to 'love her'. He's the typical psycho antagonist. :) When I put up ...

In my opinion, this is way too simplistic. You have a great idea for a song, but it definately needs some work. Try experimenting with word choice. I could give ...

Wow...thats all I have to say...I really liked it! I loved the use of metaphors and the word choice was just fantastic! I loved it! There was a few lines ...

It won’t be long now. I repeated this phrase like a mantra, turning the words over constantly in my mind. As I lay huddled up beneath a snow-capped bush, I ...

This was well written, I just have a few things to point out :) I am lost - like a child in a grocery store without their mother. Instead of ...

I was actually quite confused. I think the line What divine plan was made for me? What purpose do I serve here? you could have done without, as it changes ...

Thank you for the critiques! I wanted the poem to be slightly confusing, as the narrator is confused. She feels trapped in his gaze, in his arms, but at the ...

I am yours. Your eyes are an abyss. A beautiful chasm that seems to pull me in deeper with each passing second Trapping me; Ensnaring me in hypnotic pools of ...

I'm confused...What exactly is happening here? Who is talking? This seems like a great start to a poem, but it's way too simplistic. The rhyme scheme was pretty consistent though.

I have a feeling you're going to hate me after this post: I think the word choice could be improved a little bit. Also, it was a bit repetitive. You ...

Thanks everybody! I really needed the critiques, just because this is a huge 100 point assignment and I really want a good score. So I shall fix those errors and ...

I agree, this poem is very easy to relate to. I actually like it. With a few corrections (Ela's is great advice) it will be a great poem!

Hey what's up y'all? I'm back after almost two years in the dark. I'm a mommy now, and my writing skills have increased tenfold, along with many other changes. I ...

I had to write a Personal Essay (for an English assignment, but possible university submission) and I really, really need critiques. All of the other people I know say it's ...

I really like this. ^^ Its really cute, and I love the word choice. I agree with Finito, you should change the "be" to "been", but other than that I ...