TheEnigma

Very vivid writing and interesting descriptions. I did notice a couple of errors: or an immaculate lown. Did you mean "lawn" here? The y aren't yellow with joy It's pretty ...

Your grammar and vocab was pretty good overall, and your writing flows nicely. You seem to be one of those writers who can put a great deal in a paragraph ...

Wow. That's the first thing I've got to say. My second is: good job. It can be tricky to build a story through dialogue, and in this case the reader ...

Haha, this is great. And what's funny is, it actually sounds like an eight-year-old is telling the story. I mean, the main character, not the author. If you get what ...

Overall, very well written. Your descriptions were nice and your characters had depth. I especially liked the tone of your MC. I agree with Rachael; the informality fits the point ...

I haven't really been keeping up with the chapters, but this was intense. I could really feel the emotion in this piece. Your use of language was original and contributed ...

Was this the last part of a short story or a novel? You've posted it in short stories, but I wondered. It was kind of a really long short story.

Wow, this was awesome. You had me caught from the start. These guys are so totally messed up. And boy, the ending was really gory but in some twisted way ...

Okay...this was um, interesting...Some things could get explained a little better because I was really confused at certain parts. Blanket is a teddy bear, right? And how did Laurie lose ...

This was good, but I did notice you had a lot of run-ons and you often wrote "it's" as "its". Not a big deal, but you should make sure to ...

This was really good--and so creative! You used dialogue extremely well, and your descriptions were beautiful and interesting. I found myself hooked right from the start. My only small criticism ...

First off, let's get the nitpicks out of the way: The boy looked mildly disappointed, his ridiculously baggy cap sagging over one eye as he withdrew his head from the ...

They were at the hospital for at least an hour before Elmo’s parents arrived at last. Two, well-dressed successful businesspeople, it seemed impossible that they could give birth to such ...

This was a beautiful, realistic story. Your characters were very human and your main character's voice was very powerful. I only noticed a couple things. I saw that sometimes you ...

It's an interesting start, but do you need this prologue? It sounds like you could work a lot of these details into the first chapter just as well. She was ...