TheEnigma

A review for you. Let's get the nitpicks out of the way, shall we? I hurried t o catch up with her. “ Whoa , what’s wrong?” you can tell ...

This is great. You hooked me from the start and I liked your writing style a lot. It's sharp, neat, and perfectly approriate to this kind of story. This even ...

You delve into greater detail about your characters this chapter, especially Lucy who we didn't get much of a look at in the first chapter. You also used dialogue much ...

While your descriptions are very vivid, it seems like you're trying too hard. I was put off the first paragraph because it was so much detail that didn't interest me. ...

I have to say, these two are great. You can tell they're troublemakers, but the really smart kind, from the way they talk and think. Actually, the dialogue was very ...

I'm liking this lots. This a whole new dimension to Pandora. And Phil and ol' Lloyd have been straightened out a bit :). I'm just curious as to why being ...

Hey wolfgirl! You must be pretty good if you've been writing for so long. And in the off chance you're not, people here really help you improve. They leave great ...

A quick opinion: It is kind of short for a chapter, but you can still go with that. Some authors write short chapters. Now onto the critique. I liked the ...

Wow, great start to a novel. I was intrigued. You revealed just enough to hook the reader while still keeping things suspenseful. Not to mention the writing was very good. ...

I promise I didn't steal your idea, because I started to write it long before I read this. Haha, of course not. It's probably a really common theme.

The only way to sort the problems in the Middle-East is to give Palestine a homeland, one with East-Jerusalem as its capital and one which complies with the 1967 borders. ...

I have a lot of questions. I don't know if you were intending to write more of this, but it seems incomplete to me. What's in the package? Drugs? Who's ...

I like this Pandora of yours. She's got attitude. No one ever thinks about her, you're right. This read easily and flowed well. The beginning of chapter 1 especially hooked ...

From what I can read it looks interesting, but is there any way you can make the font a little bigger?

You wrote a lot of this in second person, which gave it a new twist, never mind cliches. At some points you did tend to get a little prosy and ...