TheEnigma

This is hilarious! I almost fell over laughing...great lyrics. :D

Your writing flows smoothly. You have a lot of nice descriptions. At some points, I feel the description is a little overdone, but then, you are writing this for a ...

Thanks, Earthfire. Yeah, I get what you're trying to say. It's tricky to write from his point of view with a lot of depth because we don't know as much ...

This is really a nicely written piece. You started off with a good hook and kept your writing to the point and fluent. You also used dialogue cleverly--I liked how ...

This is great! It's so honest, and warmly told. You did a great job creating original characters and using dialogue and thoughts to reveal more about them. This is a ...

This is very deep. Your main character is unusually thoughtful and is also human. Your writing is descriptive without going overboard or losing the reader in long paragraphs. You offer ...

Wow, wait to start the mystery right away. I think you did a great job giving just enough detail to intrigue the reader while at the same time holding back ...

This is awesome! So scary. I liked your rhyme scene and your chorus, that gave it this really intense chant-like kind of feeling. My only criticisms would be to remember ...

This is beautiful. Sweet summer story. You have really nice descriptions and dialogue.

Just a couple suggestions: ~remember to make a new paragraph when someone new starts talking. This makes it clearer to the reader who the speaker is. ~try breaking your paragraphs ...

Wow, this is excellent. I like how you use their conversation at the beginning as a kind of foreshadowing, and then it really happens. You wrote it from a really ...

Nice, your character has a great voice. That was a really intense first part... I especially liked the last sentence--it was so nonchalant. Definitely keep writing.

This is really suspenseful. You've got a mystery to hook the reader right off from the start. That's a good thing. You have really nice descriptions as well, like when ...

Whoa, I like this. I see you went somewhere with Tristan and the main character. You do some really intense character play in this piece. The whole thing with the ...

Wow, this was intense. I really liked your writing and you developed the plot perfectly. It was full of suspense and it was interesting. I also liked how you took ...