TheClosetKidnapper

This is great! I love how Jay truly stands up, not just for herself but for everyone, to Kathleen in this chapter! I can't wait to read the next one!

This is really good. I like how you tell the story in passive voice instead of active. The only thing I could really suggest is to vary the beginnings of ...

Okay, this chapter is told from Cora's point of view. She and her sister Lillian are aliens and I'm trying to add a Superman or Green Lantern type feel to ...

So true. I don't know of anything to say other than that. I love how you seemed to stick with free-verse but maybe it would be better if you added ...

Okay, so this chapter is told through the point of view of Lis. She and her brother Brandon live in downtown London with their thief of a father. Lis: Father ...

Hey, I personally liked the first one best. Good luck on your story! :)

Thank you all for your reviews. I tried to put them all to work and it ended up coming up as the edited version instead of a separate piece. So ...

Thank you all for your reviews. I tried to put them all to work and it ended up coming up as the edited version instead of a separate piece. So ...

This is a great piece you've got here. I agree with Ben about how there isn't much to critique and how the description of the fight was vivid. But when ...

Each of them are good enough to be developed into a story but the best in my opinion are the second and the last. The second one could be opened ...

I agree with Sandayselkie, this is really good. I like how readers are given a glimpse into what this really is without coming out and saying so. You also have ...

Wow. First of all, let me say that this is very very good. I loved the twist at the end with the examiner and with Tony. It's a sad ending ...

Alex is eighteen and Jason is sixteen. They were both drafted in their hometown of Flint, Michigan approximately a year prior to this scene. Alex: The Germans were advancing and ...

First of all, I have to say that I love this story so far. But down to business, ;P... I really liked the twist with Miranda in this chapter and ...

I loved this! I can't wait to read more from you!