Teardrop_on_the_fire

Firstly, if Velton is a warewolf then take that first paragraph out, put it into the story in a different way, what she did on a cancelled period or something, ...

*unglues eyes from screen* *unglues eyes from screen* omgomgomg that was WONDERFUL WORK! I am totally at a lose of words except omg (over and over again) I gasped and ...

Ok, I must admit the part you added was funny. (you get a reluctant star from me)

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May I ask before I review if the name Arc comes from Arcanum ?

But now I realize that they are about nothing. Those books are 1600 pages of nothingness. I had to stop reading Breaking Dawn because I simply couldn't stand the emptiness. ...

Grr, I'm sorry but I can't laugh or think it's funny. It only annoyed me really. It's takes the serious quality about the Twilight series I love. But for others ...

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50000 words for a single story? You're on a role

That was sad, tragic, almost disgusting in parts, and totally outstanding in my book.

I loved how you cut off the story with the screaming, don't change that, please. It was chilling and frightening. I loved the way you made the man behave before ...

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What time period is this supposed to be set in, exactly? I was thinking modern era, but they seem to be employing archaic technology (sundials, quills, etc.) Is there are ...

I was a little lost until the end. I understand it now, but you might consider putting more of what you talked about at the end into the middle part?

It was sad and made my eyes fall. But it lacked something to be called 'tragic love', in my opinion. Maybe it needs a little more dialect and passion formed ...