TNCowgirl

Now I'm confussed, your switching between tenses is weird and if I remebered correctly the person that "I" refered to was a girl in the prologe. MAybe clear that up ...

Tyrant--- "I can't remember." He replied, "I don't feel tired though. What happened, my back is killin me."

Good job, I liked it. It moved well and it was very disciptive. It caught my attention which is what you want a prologue to do. You want to catch ...

Tyrant--- Tyrant woke up under a soft blanket. he sat bolt upright rewarding himself with pain in his back. He groaned as he slowly stood up and walked towards the ...

Ryder--- Ryder was about to answer when Alex ran over. "Your sisters really mad at me! What do I do?!" Ryder sighed and looked at Alex. "What did you do?" ...

***Hmmmmm, he would just get mad if she turned her attention on someone else. If you think up anything tell me. But I'll try and think something up.*** Velna--- "Everything ...

Tyrant--- Tyrant winced when she touched the wound his back screaming in pain. He bit his lip trying to keep from showing it. She grabbed his hand pulling him out ...

Ryder--- Ryder smiled and kissed her lips quieting her tears. "I didn't mean we wouldn't. What he said was good enough for me if it was you." He sighed, "I ...

Alright, so I'm not good at the grammer crits. I can normally do those if I have color changers and I haven't figured out the picture things yets. SO!! I'm ...

Twas very very good!!!! I liked it. You could've added a little more discription and such. Like Luke noticing her in his brothers shirt and so on. But other then ...

Velna--- Velna spun around and looked at him shaking her head. "You only did that to get me back. Don't you understand, you need to truely want to. You can ...

Tyrant--- Tyrant's back stung from fallin on a rock but he wasn't going to say anything. "I'm fine, are you? I should've warned you I'm sorry." He would never live ...

Ryder--- Ryder held her shoulders. "I understand completely, and I'll wait until I die if I have to." He smiled kissing her softly. Velna-- "She isn't going to get hurt, ...

Tyrant--- Tyrant ran after her. He saw a cave to his left so he grabbed her around the waist and dove down into it taking most of the fall on ...

Velna--- Velna looked at Alex, "What is wrong with you?" She demanded, Ryder--- Ryder nodded, "I understand." He said, he felt like he had been stabbed in the heart though. ...