TNCowgirl

Capatilize 'I's' and in dialog it is " not '. Other then that it was ok. Oh and: Her and I. not Me and Her. The devil and the addiction. ...

Caralina: Caralina looked at Liz then Ryan. "Was it Carmen, Caralina?" Ryan asked looking at her his eyes blazing. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then opened ...

Kaleb: Kaleb shrugged, "Who else is there around here to talk to. Plus, you can't always be rude." He smiled and walked towards her and then towards the town. Kuma ...

Tim: TIm groaned and looked around trying to find her. He sniffed the air trying to find her blood. His stomach growled and he frowned. He needed to get blood. ...

Colt: Colt looked down at her. "You ok?" She nodded. "Alright, let's go. This city is supposed to look realyl cool at night." He smiled wrapping his arm around her ...

Name: Dusty Ryder Age: 24 Gender: F Embassy: The Unit. The Unit is a special forces unit that 'doesn't exist'. No one really knows about it. Bascially the people in ...

Kaleb: "Least you could do was say it loud enough for me to hear." He replied turning and looking at her. "I said it, that's all your gettting." She replied. ...

Kaleb: Kaleb frowned and shook his head. "Your welcome." He muttered turning around. He stopped and looked back at her. "You know, it's not such a bad thing to be ...

Cool, twas good. Didn't really catch anything. Sorry for the short crit. I have to jet. TNC

Wow, dude. Keep going. Twas good, a few missing commas here and there. Nothing big. What's Bar? TNC

Oh, wow. Um, ya. Good, there wasn't really anythign I saw that needed to be fixed. But it was interesting. I thought maybe have him trash the place or something. ...

Caralina: Caralina smiled weakly. "I love you." She whispered softly. "I really do."

****I have nothing. any ideas. :'(****

Colt: Colt laid his shirt down next to his shoes and ran into the water diving in and swimming under her pulling her under with him. "Course I'm coming." He ...

Kaleb: Kaleb had been watching the fighting. He clenched his fists when he saw the guys surrond the girls. He walked over his coat hiding any sign of his wings. ...