Syte

I notice that your character's personalities come across really well. That's always a good thing. In my opinion, that's the most interesting thing about this story. Also, I didn't find ...

Oh...my...god! Yeah, Dudette was right. It was very intense. I really couldn't find any problems with this piece. It was written well and the description was superb. I character's struggle ...

I liked this essay :) I haven't read Alice and Wonderland before, but this essay makes me want to read it. There sure seems to be a lot of symbolism ...

Awesome title, By the way :) The piece is written really well. I especially like the italicized thoughts. This scene conveys deep emotion, even though the story hasn't picked up ...

Purgatory, eh? You say it's a cliche? I dunno, sounds pretty cool to me. “Oh no,” she said when her eyes fell upon the mayor's corpse. “Gaunt, not again. I ...

My only real advise is to savor the moment. I'm won't bother correcting your grammar and prose, since that has been taken care of by other reviewers, but I would ...

You say you intend to write a story about him, but this piece seems to be more about you. Maybe I didn't understand you, or something. Anyway, as a dream, ...

The piece was good, like your first piece was. The only complaint I have was I think that you went a bit overboard with Dorothy's speech at the beginning of ...

But, shadows were begining to emerge. These were not like your typical shadow. The last line seems a bit amateurish to me, if you don't mind m e saying so. ...

I liked the first part the best, as it was the most moving. I would suggest italicizing the dream sequence, as it's written in a first-person POV, and unlike the ...

I really enjoyed this, and I'll be looking for the next chapter. I believe that you did a lot of things right, and as they, we're all our worst critic. ...

I haven't heard of the Mortal Instruments series, but I'll be sure to check it out :) If they're not at my local library, I'll be sure to buy them. ...

I'm not usually this brutal, but I have no idea what's going on are why I should care. I'd rather know what this story was going to be about straight ...

"I-I don't think that their vampyres." "What are you talking about?!" General Saloman screamed. "Of course their vampyres!" Change "their" to "they're" "She's been like that for three days. I've ...

Just a warning, I have a feeling that this post will be really long, so if you're thinking about reading this: be prepared! *Ahem* Here we go. I've lived in ...