Swottielottie

Hi conor this could be good if you wrote it like a poem but at the moment its a bit rubbish Sorry Charlotte

No I did not get it from gray's anatomy I wrote it myself What are the elements of poetry anyway? because i have never been taught anything about that Sorry ...

The poem was good and must have taken ages to mmake it read the same back and forth but it was not really my cup of tea sorry Charlotte

I laughed my head off reading that! Well not literally cos' how would I be able to write this... Anyway! great characterisation good plot and nice language I suppose you ...

Thick red juice, pounds through the chambers Lined with fuel, coated in poison Millions of sacs, squeezed in two bags Sorting bursts of air, pushing bad out One sponge of ...

i am deleting this rubbish poem *PING* gone yay!

I have no idea what you are talking about. Its an good poem but I still don't know what you wre trying tosay Something about a kitchen or murdering someone? ...

Its not fair! you're the same age as me but such a brilliant writer! the poem is so sad and lovely at the same time please write more!!!!!! Charlotte

oh! so that's what a renga is! sorry i don't know very much about that kind of thing I'm only in year 8 so I don't know that many kinds ...

Don't bother rewriting it it's great as it is i know how you feel well i might soon my nan is really sick and so is one of my grandad's ...

Not me but FAB lollies are the best, part ice cream part sprinkles mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!! I love galaxy though All this talk of food is making me hungry!!

Cool poem but I didn't understand what you were trying to say that might have been because i wasn't reading properly or the fact that my eyes wre closed (joke!) ...

Dont't toss it or scrap it! It is a good piece of work just revise it a little and it will be fantastic! I don't think there is a single ...

I think everyone's comments were true I love the ending and the bit where you say "Clawing her way out Of the middle school box Finding a hole to peek ...

wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Charlotte