Swires

That is excellent! Its one of the most original pieces I've read in a long time, I love it how the characters see the whole thing as perfectly normal. Great ...

I dislike your first paragraph, you use "night" too often in the first sentence and its just a little messy. Other than that, Sam covered everything, and well done. A ...

Yes I too enjoyed this too, as Metal says, you could explain why you were so scared. I agree with the other things he said as well. The beginning doesnt ...

Ive made comment preceded by a "//" Prologue Ness hurriedly walked down a long, marble-floored corridor. The ends of the long black robes she was wearing swept out behind her, ...

Some time ago in YWS 1 I posted a new project, Hells Tools. Well Im reposting it from Chapter 1 as I have slightly edited and restructured. Thtere are 17 ...

Thankyou, I look forward to more comments.

Chapter 2 – Destruction The purple sand lay calm whilst the Master glided over it in twisted awe. His eyes focused on a single object, his brain child, his creation. ...

Ive updated it with corrections and also used a capital "h" for "He" to reiterate The Master's power. Thanks for the comments.

Start of a short fantasy.... --- Chapter One - Creation The mauve sand swept onto the dunes and formed spiralling eddies around the feet of the Master. The sand was ...

Apple Cheese or Milk

Or how about technified classical remixes! There are some good websites out there for that kind of thing.

Yes, I am sometimes aq vague critiquer also, I really need to get back into the swing of long crits.

Well magic man, ive got to say since your first piece of work you posted on YWS you have improved greatly, you have gone from a mediocre writer to a ...

Well Sam said everything I was goignt o say an more. I agree with most thing apart from the teen/boy thing, I dont really think it matters what you call ...

LOL! Great story, I hope you will continue,. the plot was deep....very deep. Ive never read such an emotional piece. lol...