Swires

Thanks for the critique, yes "Stop" is an addition in italics. Its the voice. Thanks again, more crits welcome.

Again, italics arnt present in the forum version __________________________________________ CHAPTER 1: Man of the Fourth World “Work!” Aiden slammed his hands onto the keyboard of his computer in

Thanks guys. reading it back a few days on I agree, its way too simple, I agree a lot more needs to be added to this scene and I need ...

Ok Ive ripped a character from another oldie worldie fantasy and placed him in a modern day world. Ive gone for something I don't usually do: simple! ITs a simple ...

Thankyou, ill hop over to your story sometime later.

Well we cant decide that you can. Answer your questions. What era would best fit this basic idea? My view is in the modern day 1st world because there is ...

Thankyou for your comments. I agree with everything you said. Anymore comments?

Boring Boring Stupid Stupid. In England it is little celebrated. We dont have swarms of children knocking door to door begging for 'candy' we have a few odd people who ...

CHAPTER 1 – The Thief’s Torture A thrash of power cut through the skin on Jazool’s left cheek. He stumbled backwards and clutched his face, feeling cold blood on his ...

4600 words

Myth, we have contrasting views on books. I like Morpurgo, I though Kensuki's kingdom was beautiful, however I hate Jacky Wilson, her books are mainly for girls, that could be ...

Popularity is a measure of likability. The prose is obviously much more likable. Most people in my town cannot get to the middle of the fellowship. You have to admit ...

The LOTR Films however was not the blockbuster of the year. HP was. And who said it was the best point of the argument? Id already discussed plot characters etc... ...

Ive read the hobbit, I can judge Tolkien on that book. As for plot, Tolkien seems linear. There are so many plots riddled into one plot with Harry Potter. Characters, ...

Yes ill second that, you could space the dialogue out with some action or POV thoughts, also hinting to some physical characteristics as well.