Swires

Nice story, well paced and the opposite of my own purple prosian filth. I don't have anything else to add. I pronounce it Nay -ah without the J. Sort of ...

Ill get shot down for this... But this YWS fiction is getting a little sad in my opinion. I just dont find it interesting at all and everytime I see ...

Chapter one explains motive... Thanks for the criticisms. I didn't know I was that over exaggerative but Ill take what you said on board.

Ok, I didnt know I was this bad lol.... If you have read t just post brief thoughts, Im not asking for an indepth crit and analysis, just general opinions, ...

Hark, a whistle on high, A sweet, cool chirp from the clouds above, Those clouds that shine on the human race, Illuminating souls and lives outright, Yet, in the darkness ...

The End Ward The frothy liquor burbled, Synthing surely into mead, Gurgling, sucking, wrenching, As the old nurse said. She was a women of passion, Medicines sliding through her hands, ...

With respect to my fellow critters I think the story was meant to be written in classic story telling style. Its about an old wizard, its almost a fable. After ...

The first thing I notice is this: "Get up!" She awoke with a start, and sat up. "Get up!" Slowly, she stretched out her arms and groaned, and then got ...

I found this boring. THere was little imagery and basic statements, there was little characterisation or world building either. The whole thing went to quickly and the conflict drive was ...

The town was rather empty; the light was fading after a fresh, spring day. The street lamps were beginning to ignite, one by one they would come on, burning orange. ...

Chapter 2: Boy of the Third World Aiden’s chilled breath purred from his mouth and made a swirling eddy in the air. He watched intimately as the breath turned to ...

Ive never read a story like that in my life.

Thanks again for the critique.

"This sort of narration by the character makes me want to grab a shotgun and blast the bluebird and the character into oblivion. " Gryffin how could you? I want ...

One word: Short. Please actually finish a piece or section of work before posting. Its a nice piece but meaningless, where is the conflict? Character etc... I hate philisophical beginnings. ...