Swires

You fell into the trap that I made with one of my stories. This whole thing is purple. By purple I mead over and unnecessarily description. You use pretty words ...

I dont like this is all. - It does not flow -It does not digest well -It has little imagery in -There is no soul in this piece -What arte ...

Thankyou for the critique. Reading it again it translates to utter rubbish. I agree, this is a terrible poem but what could I expect from myself - its the third ...

This poem is perhaps one of my favourites on YWS. I love how you make the rape scene so beautiful with the words "lullyby" and light, sweet imagery. I adore ...

I understood this poem but it seemed like two different poems put togther. The first two verses you discuss the kangaroo tails. For the second two you move onto your ...

This was a beautifully constructed poem. It has a message and theme behind it which all poems should have and the language of it reflected it. THat poem is definitely ...

I agree with the above critique, I enjoyed this poem immensley, it has a real macabre about it which really connected with me. Soakin' doesnt sound right and it makes ...

I wrote it 3 years ago. Thanks for the feedback.

"I do not own one, I prefer literature and to write it. Television is too influential for the minds of children" - Varzin "Greys Anatomy" - Mewiv. Do you prefer ...

Ok: :arrow: The Grammar is awful, as Prissy said, read it allowed. You need to correct your tenses. :arrow: YWS critiques actual work, not spontaneous paragraphs with no characters, plot ...

Yes I thought it could be that afterwards. I too enjoyed wingless spine - it did seem very angelic.

Ok. Wheres the conflict? There doesnt seem to be any conflict, plot or character motives throughout the piece and thus it lacks in view point. THe piece seems to be ...

Ive just done a google of it and it doesnt appear to be any different. Stanzas and verses are the same, being English I probably call them verses because of ...

Age is not death but growth, It nobles and mystifies one With scars of mar and flight of sons Growth is not life but decay, It wrinkles and withers you ...

I also enjoyed this and agree witht he imagery of butterflies, its actually a sweet little poem. You are a little poetry chick you are. I like most of your ...