Swires

Though sometimes focusing description in certain areas can be effective to make it more exciting, scary etc. However i think i might have failed miserably at that. Yes but don't ...

Axe the names and the pronunciation guide and replace them with easy to read names!

Griffin is right - his crit on my pathetic and overly elaborate attempt at urban fantasy woke me up and I saw the light "Why do I need this description?" ...

Mmm... for a 12 year old its pretty good - for general fiction it was very bland in the English Language area. I felt the sentence contruction was dull and ...

Ok - I didn't see your age. This is good for your age, my writing was atrocious when I was 13 (and bits of it still is). Dragon stories are ...

Again I stopped once I saw those present tense verbs. The question is: Why? Why write in present tense when a story can be told much better through the past ...

Ok some pointers: :arrow: Without more of the story we cannot see this in context and cannot judge the story as a whole or even begin to look at character ...

About the present tense stuff - it's true it's relatively unusal, and can get messy and hard to read, but it is possible to pull off. From my own reading ...

Skell - Age of Five book 3 hasnt been pubished. I love Trudi Canavan though, I have read all the Black Magician Series, Priestess of the White and I'm now ...

I think the word you are looking for is Gary Stew :)

No, I don't like this - it seemed far to vague and I couldn't understand where you were going or what you were trying to say.

Format??? Add correct spacing in between speech and paragraphs.

I read this all the way through and it was interesting, vibrant and unique like all your short stories. One thing I would change is the title because the statue ...

I agree with everything else that has been said “Me either.” Shouldnt this be "me neither" ??? Good story.

I think Quatrains are the few occasions where a poem should rhyme. I didn't think this poem had a flow to it and was more of an overview than a ...