Swires

Hello there, well first you post an intro lol. Then, and most importantly you will want to head over to the "Literary" section and read some peoples work and give ...

Alright first of all, GREAT story. I thought it was one of the best things I've ever read. I was sad too. In the end. Second, you might need to ...

She bled to death. It depends in what context. She bled to death is fine if you are saying that the woman is now dead and she died through bleeding. ...

Yes, the first paragraph needs work. At the moment it isnt really pulling the reader into the chapter. My parents died when I was three, so I barely remember them, ...

Which they have to fax through to Nathanial Monkey.

Some useful Links: However in answer to your question, the simple answer is: read and write(something different).

Thankyou for all your tips, I agree with everything said - I shall butcher this at a later date, I may make this a 20k novella, I cant see it ...

I'm curious to where this is going. This seems really short, and the ending is really abrupt. What's going to happen once they get to Grissom's office? What exactly is ...

Thats actually made me feel sick.

As I stepped into the road, I turned and looked at my boyfriend of 3 months - Alex. That's when the car hit me. That's when my life changed forever. ...

In No Particular order 1 The High Lord 2 The Novice 3 The Magician's Guild 4 Priestess of the White 5 Talyn - Holly Lisle 6 HP and the Half ...

Yes, the prologue needs to be axed and turned into an appendix or a library of terms. Chapter one seemed to be an info dump - this reads more like ...

I see we have a difference of opinion. Not that it really matters either way, I was just giving an example to say that But is ok in some senses.

This was indeed a piece of quality work which I enjoyed as much as Griffin above. One thing I do notice is your reluctance to use "said". Said is a ...

This was amusing yes but I arnt sure whether the content was good enough to get laughs. I didn't laugh but I can see the humour in the content - ...