Swires

It seems again rhyme is destroying the poetic flow of the entire poem. Take out the rhyme and start over.

Nice work - haiku's have limitations and you did your best considering the Haiku limits.

You have fallen into many-a-poets trap. You have discarded all essence of emotion, story etc.. for a rhyme scheme. Golden Rule: POEMS DO NOT HAVE TO RHYME. If you are ...

Everyone's going to hate me for saying it, but the Harry Potter series were the first books that actually inspired me to write and to try writing. As for other ...

Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of The Rings (Im giving it a try) Last of the Wilds (Trudi Canavan) The Dark Tower Series (Stephen King)

.... This should go into the Lounge. Non-Fiction is for essays or dissertations.

Jenna my dear you are write. This should go in the lounge or Debate Group.

Why dont people read m'dear? --- This belongs in fiction. Click "Literary" at the top and then go into your specified genre. Thank you, Mr Adam Alcock, The Purple Balloon ...

Ive just noticed a spelling error. "Memories" not "memmories". (L2 P2)

At last. He'd thought it would never come...yet here it was. The magic was overtaking him. I don't like your beginning. You begin with a fragment that doesn't have effect. ...

I dont hate endings at all. I like to finish a story to see how it ends. Then I move on and read another 50 books then I can go ...

Typing all the way - Hand written just isn't practical and I tend to write pathetically when I hand write. I don't know why but I read it and nothing ...

The axe head doesnt really join onto the handle. Otherwise excellent - are these totally drawn with a graphics tablet? YAY 800th Post

Wow - Nice work. shoddy critique but I know nothing about art. THey look great!

You may want to add formatting so you get more critiques. i.e. space paragraphs.