Swires

Hello there, what sort are you writing - Fantasy, Sci fi etc..? How far are you into your novel in terms of words? Welcome by the way lol!

Reading this again I can see its slightly over descriptive and understand the points you have presented. It all seems a little sudden for the father to act, I admit. ...

Im just about understanding this, but I have to simply agree with Griffinkeeper in the sense that Conflict comes from misunderstanding. Alot of what is being discussed is going way ...

Interesting, sounds dark and would catch my eye in a book store. Who is this weaver? Why is it bundled with blood? A title to my story: Scall's Magic

Ok - everyone who has read the story so far. Now I want story comments: What do you think of the story and where it is leading? Are you interested ...

This is a big improvement to the prologue - this one actually has real characters :) I'm hooked actually, I'll be returning to read more of the story. keep your ...

Ok - The main thing that strikes me from all of you work is the shortness, from this I can only infer the pacing. I dont believe you know where ...

At the start you say "Worthingtonia" far too often. Also you are vague and viewless at the start. By this, I mean there is no character, instead of giving a ...

Nice.

The night was black. The stars had gone out. Clouds scudded effortlessly across the sky behind a light breeze, barely visible, constantly blocking, constantly revealing the tiny sliver of moon. ...

I think what you have done in places is written things over descriptively spoiling the pace of the story. The dragging out of a picture can make the reader lose ...

Ive read many a question poem and hated them all. You ask many questions but dont provide answers, surrendering all meaning of a poem - I understand you have tried ...

Seemed random, dont bother with rhyming either. Non - rhyming is usually more powerful. I reviewed somethign the other minute, it could apply to you: The rhyming killed it. Like ...

A great poem in which shows rhyming can work.

The rhyming killed it. Like it does in many poems. It is a sick and twisted demon, a black sword that stabs and lurks in newbie poems, preying on musings ...