Swires

Well Im green! So everythings just fab :)

Love Hog Man - really detailed!

Weird. LOL! Enjoy your work!

They look pretty good!

I dont think you have modified the story from the last critique. SO all that still applies. OK: One thing is that John seems to have no weaknesses which for ...

Me too - the action one was pretty cool.

Really Nice - Great stuff, I especially love the colour.

Very nice.

It reminds me of an advert as well. Colour works best in adverts. (I know many will disagree)

No one has mentioned "colour" or "favourite" Me and bubblewrapped took some time out of our lives to write a review of your story. It would be nice to be ...

Plotting with Excel Plotting is often considered a hard, boring and perilous task to complete by writers both young and old. Many writers find themselves buried in maps, character sheets ...

There is nothing really to add to the other critiques. YOu should consider reading more books of the fantasy genre and reading and reviewing some stuff here. Then start to ...

Yes I agree - different points of view straight after one another may annoy the reader. I have two strands in my book and they meet often. Perhaps write more ...

Welcome to YWS, talk to me at school if you have any questions or problem!

Come near me, I want your skin This line works, we know the voice and I instantly want to read on. To slide on mine like it was sin. Maybe ...