Swires

I just dont get the whole present tense thing. I just dont know....

Id say the simplest answer would be to add lots of twists and turns, cliffhangers on the end of chapters to make the reader want to find out what is ...

Chapter 1: The Boatman[Chapter 2] Echoes of drums filled the city streets as trumpets sounded and rattled city life into a vortex of cheers and salvation. The parade marched onwards ...

Space the paragraphs and ill come and crit.

Some of you have horrible taste-the worst examples is your hate of mice and men and WATERSHIP DOWN . That is one of the best books EVER written!!!! Read it ...

Right, I think a 3rd Person rewrite is needed. There isnt a great lot that needs changing reading it over. Thanks for the crits guys!

Nice story, I am enjoying this tale. Not a great lot of description but great story all the same.

Harry Potter is the best book series of all time! I honestly can't figure out what is wrong with you people who don't like it. Totally Agreed :D

If we are argueing which is more correct I would say "grey" was as it is the original spelling. American English is merely a simplified version of UK English.

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime by Mark Haddon. Shut up. I know the new age emo contemporary lit crowd is going to hate me for this ...

Yeah I just used my example to demonstrate a mini combat and senses. But thats good.

Taking sides and argueing something that really has nothing to do with you is wrong. Snoink just critted my piece, I am grateful for it and it really helped for ...

I think a battle scene would be good, but home in on a battle with 2 people(your characters) as opposed to just describing the tactics. Describe the senses as well ...

What area in writing, research, mulling over, planning, plotting, procrastination(sp?), checking, reviewing, revising....the list is endless.

*SLAPS* Your life isnt over! :D To combat it look at your plot, where do you think it is going, what is going to happen to your characters. Make a ...