SwallowedByInsanity

our blood was burnt in a pot on the stove the rats turned their noses from us we broke vases on their heads and we stirred our blood when it ...

Life is hard. That's the simple way to put It. But in reality, There's no other way to put It. Great stanza! short and to the point. Where we stand, ...

I'm standing alone again and singing this song once more there something missing this time i just doesn't seem right... you don't rhyme in this stanza, but you rhyme in ...

One late winter evening, all rainy and black, 'dripping in rain and black' might put a better image in the reader's head I tapped at my keyboard - a quick ...

If I beg you not to leave will you stay with me and believe, in stories of Santa’s reindeer that you whispered in my ear. replacing "stories" with "tales" might ...

He was with me from the start. He supported me for what was correct. From my baby days on wards, brother, led me with strong courage. "He supported me for ...

wow, you're quite the lyricist! I just wanted to mention that I absolutely loved your harry potter song and this didn't fail to meet my expectations. Beautifully written and has ...

2 things. I love harry potter (potter puppet pals ftw) and i LOVE your icon! hahaha oh run, with his ruffled suit... anyway, onto the song. It was hilarious and ...

I, personally, as a poet, do not bother with grammar and 'proper spacing'. That's a load of mish mosh that takes away from the artistic being of the poetry, when ...

I thought your random numbers of lines per stanza was interestingly put. Poetry should not be about conforming to the usual, 4 line stanzas, rhyme this rhyme that, little bit ...

Woah! that's quite an interesting repetition scheme you've got going on there, I'd love to try it out sometime. I think a nice title could be something like "my forte". ...

Speak to me let me create vivid dreams to come awake I loved this stanza! that last line 'to come awake' sounded a bit awkward and forced though... Mystery unfolds ...

I'm not going back to apologize, Not again, not this time . (You use time here twice, and it really takes away from the flow of the poem) Through time ...

Tired from work, I walk home Step, step, step. My feet go Home, there I will head Step, step, step. My feet go Into the alley I went Instead of ...

To start off, all of your lines begin with 'it' or 'it's'. Delete it all. Get rid of that repetitive beginning, it takes away the substance of the raw emotion ...