Suzuhara

Chapter One "Wake up, you urchin!" A rough voice with a heavy Northern accent grated Bane's eardrums as he stirred himself into consciousness. "What do you want?" he said as ...

Hey Jiggity! This is a bit long so I'll start with the first two stories and do the rest later. Like always, I'm going to do a thorough critique. :) ...

Thanks Andy! Yeah, I plan to rewrite this scene and then have you all recritique it. I plan to blow your socks away! hehehehe. :twisted: Thanks for your advice too. ...

Hmmm...This was very disappointing. You should post at least 500 words so readers can follow something. I can't comment on this.

"I married a Communist" by Philip Roth "Invisible Man" by Ralph Ellison

You have a very interesting concept going on. Try thinking about how you want to begin chapter one and see where it goes from there. Do you start with the ...

I read the Kite Runner as well and just like you I was taken away. It's an incredible novel that grips you from beginning to end. I really enjoyed it! ...

The stars glared down. It was no wonder. I didn’t know them nor they me; those familiar pin points of light that I had ignored my whole life were now ...

First, this is about 3000 words which most people won't read or critique in one setting. Try posting less than 2,000. Okay, here I go: "Don't fucking move!" (I know ...

Thanks for the list of authors Jig (Do you mind if I call you that?). I'll be sure to check them out when I go to the library. Oh and ...

Thank you everyone for your critiques! They're quite helpful and I'll be sure to take all the advice to improve this part. I guess I left too much to the ...

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A warm summer’s day, a harsh winter night; these things, like all other things we can see, touch, make up the world. Along with these things come all things in ...

Thank you for the welcome Demi! :)

It’s always the same before any big mission, Steven mused. Although, he wasn’t even supposed to call this a mission. “A sortie” was the technical term it had been dubbed ...