Suddenly

It seemed more like a newspaper article than a story. The grammar and language was good, but the storyline needs adapting.

Very nice! I felt like i was actually there :) Not much more i could say as it was quite short but very nice work, i hope to see more ...

I wandered into the cold breeze like a soldier The thought of forgetting everything i had encountered, just for a second, brought a tear to my eye I pondered my ...

I think your poem was great, and it really painted a picture for me, but to me it felt incomplete, but nevertheless well done on a superb peice!