Stori

That's very good, actually. In just a second I'll review it properly. ‘It needed a friend’, I'm not sure that the boy would think in past tense. If you quote ...

Regarding what Tiger Shark said: don't be afraid of that! If a secondary character wants to become the main character, let them.

weighing at 6 pounds, I noticed this right away. Usually the phrase is "weighing in". At 7 old, I banged my head falling off the table. I landed head first. ...

What's enjambment?

Halah, welcome to YWS. As the others have said, we're all about being helpful here. One thing that you should remember is the system of ranks here. Folks in light ...

Nice to meet you two.

You're welcome.

The only suggestion I'd make is to break this into smaller paragraphs.

This isn't bad by any means. However, it doesn't belong here in Fan-fiction; you can have it moved by asking someone with a green name.

That's not a bad route to go. I'd send you to meet my brother, but he doesn't come here often. Ok, just plain welcome to YWS.

How does one transfer one's account to another e-mail?

That's a bit of a tall order. In short, we have the forums (divided into Community and Literary); blogs; the chat; and oh, yes, storybooks! Those are were you and ...

For some strange reason, I thought Henry was severely autistic. I mean, the kind you see in "Rain Man." Maybe you never intended it that way.

Cat-san, this is something. You switched tenses at lot, but it happens. In a few places you missed a capital letter. she didn't have a watch. it tells her the ...

Thanks for your help, guys. *has a second question* How can I explain that my character was adopted without telling it outright?