Stori

How come you abruptly named the two bodyguards? If the main character doesn't know their names, shouldn't there at least be an introduction? Also, it seemed they were addressing Ailia ...

Good start, though perhaps you could mention the Clan's name. If the nursery is in a cave, then it's obviously not in the forest; is it, perhaps, old SkyClan?

Seems as if you've got most of the points covered. I'd just like to ask you to describe the Virginia countryside more in later chapters. What fun is it if ...

Since it seemed nobody cared, I did something I hadn't in years. I prayed. "God, what are you doing? Why have you left me to rot?" There wasn't any answer ...

It's important because she's a squirrel and doesn't quite know how to act like one.

“Please, sir…” Bax looked at the trooper’s helmeted face and swallowed his words. Like a death warrant, the stolen sword hung limply in his paw. Four months' rations surely weren't ...

Thanks. It's an incomplete verse; I was hoping to get help with it.

Dawning light, setting sun- Saints and warriors, one by one Fade into the past Leaving shadows cold as stone. We are only two- Working miracles, me and you. Soldiers of ...

Reading is good; we like it. Seeing as how you're a horror fan, you might try The Ribbajack by Brian Jacques. He's a master of description. Let's see... I think ...

I don't know about your characters, but I'd want to cool down in a bookstore or library.

Hello and welcome! We hope you enjoy your stay here. Room service is- er, wait. Hi. This is YWS, the best writing website there is. Anywhere.

It's strange how few boys come to the Welcome board. In any event, welcome to the Society, Bass.

I'm not sure you have to right forum, but hello.

Welcome to YWS, Writer. We're a quirky, fun-loving bunch for the most part. Be sure you visit the chat room- you can find a link on the site's homepage. You're ...

I just want to put in two cents here. If publishing my stories were just a matter of money, I'd do something else for a living. Writing with me is ...