Stori

Like, wow. I think that really fits with the style of a Japanese song.

Bravo! I love this. Couldn't find any grammar mistakes, either, but I'm not an expert on poetry. :)

I read it through. And, hey, it's good. Just one little thing: I think you could come up with synonyms for "soul." You know, spirit, essence, etc.

Ok, I enjoyed that. Especially the 'talk with myself'; I do that all the time. But, being American, I must ask: Who's the Tenth Doctor?

"Training, they call this training?" I muttered. The temperature had to be at least eighty, which meant some of the aliens were wilting. But hey, try doing this in full ...

For what it's worth, I love 'em. Especially the last one.

To be honest, I don't like the change. I mean, "administrating" heaven and hell? And no, souls don't choose where they go.

Yeah, I've seen the movie. Just think how well they'd do the Old Forest. XD

"You think I stole your money!" You must be completely out of your mind! Since it's not the end of the quote, get rid of those marks. "You wont believe ...

Who saw it last?

That was beautiful. Too bad I have to critique, ha ha. I sat starring at the fence. Should be "staring." Sorry, can't think of much else.

Well, I'll be the first to welcome you. I'm Jorin, and like you I'm terrible at finishing things. Aren't we all? So, welcome aboard and all that.

Hello Aedomir. I believe we've met before. Oh, and I've been following "the Immortals."

It's not bad. I liked the chorus, anyway.

Interesting. Just one little error I want to point out. I wanted to be normal, like everyone else. I think you could leave out "like everyone else."