Stori

Sounds like a good idea to me. By the way, the name's Jorin. *shakes hands*

I noticed that you started the story in present tense, then shifted the rest to past tense.

Name: Chris Kincaid. His friends call him "Kin." Age: 14 Gender: male. Type: Swordsman. Specializes in short-blade. Description: Tan skin with an athletic build. Black, unruly hair that he keeps ...

I'd like to join up, if you'd give me time to think about my character.

Most likely this has been posted before, but I'm having trouble beginning a story. I have the characters and conflict, I just can't seem to do a good introduction.

That's great advice, all. Another thing I do sometimes is to ask my characters what they're up to.

Welcome back Valor! The entire room held it's breath, waiting. Should be "its." Like disturbed insects the inhabitants of the table drifted away; I think that's supposed to be a ...

As usual, I'm going to point out some errors in grammar. and the first page of the boo-" "the first page?" Just me, but I think T should capitalized in ...

I like it. The part before the actual story was repetitive, but the rest was well done. Just one mistake I want to point out: as if the words them ...

That's a good question. I don't know.

That was great. :lol:

I don't think I've read anything this good in a while. Here's a few points: the dialog often had a comma where a full stop should be. The second bit ...

Ok, I think everybody else covered the bases. Except to say, I think your name is cool. Kyte

I think Kaliber missed something. she didn't notice the loan black car It should be spelled lone. That's about it, except to say that this is a great piece.

It's good. I may have missed some grammar errors, for once, but I like this.