Stori

It seems you need a serious critique. One says Don't capitalize. Only if it's a name or the first word of a sentence. She wakes a month later In a ...

Shad heard Sky shout. Horrified, he saw Torn standing over her. He fought the urge to change; this wasn't the time to go rushing in. Drawing a knife from his ...

Yum. Cat-san, you make me hungry.

The sound of desolate sobbing woke Shad. Moving carefully so as not to wake Sky, he squeezed out of the crevasse. He found Ballow crying into his hands. Silently he ...

Do you like books on tape? I love 'em, so long as they're narrated well.

Welcome to our humble forums. I'm Kyte, as you can see. I'm very interested in Indian folklore, so I'll look forward to your posts.

My face hot from heat It's repetitive. Maybe try, "My face hot from shame." Not a bad piece. It could certainly stand improvement.

I want to suggest you put point count on every page. It's irritating, having to go back and forth between my profile and the forums.

Well, it looks as if Clueless has gotten all the grammar mistakes. Overall: this is an interesting piece. The repetition works well here. As for rhythm and all those other ...

Shad sat bolt upright. "Do you two smell rain?" he asked. Ballow sniffed. "No, I don't. You're the dragon here." "As everyone keeps reminding me," Shad muttered. "Come on; we ...

:) Nice. I don't know how many times I've said this: use a period at the end of dialog, if it's the end of a sentence. she greeted me brightly, ...

Calm down, Form. Just tell us which character you are. "Sky? What's wrong?" Her soft sobbing had woken Shad in the wee hours. Sky sniffed. "It's just a thought... but ...

What I meant is, I'm not very experienced at judging art. I'm an amature artist myself.

Hurt, Shad moved away from the others. He nursed his bruised head sullenly. Sky sighed. "I'm not really mad. Come back over here; you'll freeze." "You forgot that I'm a ...

"I'll do it later, Cedric..." Shad muttered. Ballow kicked him in the shin. "Will you stop muttering!?" Only half awake, Shad lashed out... and contacted the embers of their fire. ...