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Re: empire! empire! (i was a lonely estate)
I think perhaps the repetition of "out" in part four ruined this for me. Otherwise this was well done. Its lack of capitalization is done just right. And really, that's ...
Mar 16, 2010 -
Re: Quick question on how to avoid Gary Stu
Hey, I'm doing the same thing gender-wise. Here is something a lot of people overlook. Trust someone before you love them. I'm serious. If your girl is shy or has ...
Mar 16, 2010 -
Re: Mary-sue
Do you mind if a boy adds his two cents? I read the bit on Twilight (not a fan, and I resented the quote from Genesis) and would like to ...
Mar 16, 2010 -
Re: Mia: Bruised and Beaten
I did ask, now didn't I? Anyway, thanks... I tried rewriting the beginning.
Mar 15, 2010 -
Re: Biffle1
Hey. It's the bird, I do think. (Kite, you know.)
Mar 15, 2010 -
Re: Great Site!
Hey! I have a bit of a musical background: several of my family play African hand drums, and my younger brother is in band. Hope to see you around, eh ...
Mar 15, 2010 -
Re: Mia: Bruised and Beaten
I'm not very "in the know" about girls' biology, Snoink. And please, I was trying to be unspecific here.
Mar 14, 2010 -
Re: Jurassic Park: El Infierno Verde
Have you ever heard of "Raptor Red?" Perhaps you should read it.
Mar 14, 2010 -
Re: The Touch (possible start)
The last time anyone kissed me good-night, I was four. Now I'm pretty sure I'm twelve. Is that how you start one of these things? Hm. I've had a lot ...
Mar 14, 2010 -
Re: LOSS - League Of ShapeShifters
Morgan: The idea crept slowly into my head. I'm understood now. No more slurring and stammering; they know what I'm thinking. It was both scary and exhilarating. I looked down ...
Mar 14, 2010 -
Re: The Giver
I also read it in class and found it to be a solid book. Lois Lowry knows a lot about human nature. You said not to give anything away, so ...
Mar 13, 2010 -
Re: The World: Pluto Kiss.
Chris/Gem: "Where were you?" said Allison's voice in my ear. "I had an accident." She turned to face me, now. We'd been returned to the starting town, not far from ...
Mar 13, 2010 -
Re: Life at its Best
This is a good example of a traditional ballad. Maybe if you added a refrain, you could set it to music. However, I think there's one mistake: "At the ripe ...
Mar 12, 2010 -
Re: Hello Burk: Mia Part 1
This is actually a prequel to "Bruised and Beaten."
Mar 11, 2010 -
Re: A world where no girls are born
Avari: Ok,this was rare. You just didn't see romance like that often these days. It made me jealous in the extreme. What to do? I heard a man's voice shout, ...
Mar 10, 2010
