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Re: Shadow Flight: un-retirement chapter three: Truth
Ok sorry for the delay my computer broke same as usual, all comments and tips very welcome and I hope I am geting better. Note: I am going to remake ...
Oct 28, 2009 -
Re: I hope things never change
I thought it was a good piece. But I think a little more back story would be good. For example perhaps say more about how he lost his parents, and ...
Oct 28, 2009 -
Re: The Virus - 1
Very nice but here are some things I felt cold have been improved. The city. Although you say everything was abandoned I didn’t really get a large feeling of it; ...
Oct 27, 2009 -
Re: Shadow Flight: un-retirement chapter two: Infiltration
One last thing, I have decided to change and I am cutting out Death Game. Originally Moonlight began to go mad as he got smarter and smarter he kept getting ...
Oct 27, 2009 -
Re: Shadow Flight: un-retirement chapter two: Infiltration
Hi Stealth, I'm not sure if you read my review of your previous chapter. There's always a risk with forums that you're throwing your reviews into a black hole where ...
Oct 27, 2009 -
Re: Shadow Flight: un-retirement chapter two: Infiltration
Sorry my comp has broken and I don’t know when it will be fixed. I can’t give an accurate estimate to when part three will be up. Hopefully with luck ...
Oct 25, 2009 -
Re: Shadow Flight: un-retirement chapter two: Infiltration
I'm not going to do a huge review like last time, just mention a few things you could improve on. The grammar still needs a lot of work, though I ...
Oct 20, 2009 -
Re: Shadow Flight: un-retirement chapter two: Infiltration
The second and hopefully better part of Shadow Flight: Un-retirement. All tips and comments welcome. Note: I am going to remake the series so far when I get chance. This ...
Oct 17, 2009 -
Re: Amber-short story
I liked that and it speaks the truth. It is hard to let go of being insulted etc. I know I got bulled a lot and replied with insults too, ...
Oct 17, 2009 -
Re: I'm not a sad person but I thought I should right this.
That was very emotional. I liked it a lot. You should keep writing, but I couldn’t help but smile at the twenty-story building part. It was…unexpected for me, and I ...
Oct 17, 2009 -
Re: Shadow Flight: un-retirement chapter one: Briefing
Thanks for the support guys! I am glad it is liked even with the mass grammar problems. Also I must admit when I saw the grammar check I was discouraged ...
Oct 17, 2009 -
Re: Shadow Flight: un-retirement chapter one: Briefing
Hi guys this is my first work posted online. Due to fear of mistakes (Due to reasons I would like to keep to myself). So please don’t go to heavily ...
Oct 10, 2009 -
Re: Experiment F58
Hi all I really like it very mysterious. Not much of a background is given but I think it was intended here, I think you could have put more in ...
Oct 10, 2009 -
Re: Fighting Fire (Prologue, and Chapters 1, 2) (just added 2)
Hi all I liked it but even though the core concept was a guy trying to join the military it didn’t seem to show reasons why he was going to ...
Oct 10, 2009
