Squall

This isn't cliche. Period. I loved the way how the descriptions all join together to create a picture of a mass funeral. I see you had to use all the ...

Hrmm when I read your story, I had to force myself to read it. Like it contained a lot of meaningless information which just drags the story. That's the reason ...

When I first read feels like a chore.. Don't include the histroy until at least chapter 2. And I also don't like the idea of the "purebloods" I mean if ...

Prologue Small ripples slowly glided up and down the beach, giving out little splash like sounds as they hit the crevices between the pebbles that ran the full length of ...

The father inspected the child. Instantly Valdor's father know that the baby was not of the elven race. The father asked if Valdor knew anything of the parents or who ...

I liked the storyline. It was interesting to an extent. However I had two concerns. I didn't liked the fact that the story flowed on from conversations. I personally believed ...

Hrmm it's alright at the moment but what I dislike was repetition. For example: Kevin tried to move, but his legs wouldn't budge. He stood there frozen in fear. The ...

"Do you know why our skies our starless, Carys?" Meant to be "Do you know why our skies are starless, Carys?" I love how you kept feeding the reader of ...