Squall

Meh...Dorren seems kinda boring in personality. Is there anything that you can put in there to distinguish him from the rest. The story seems a bit cliche at the moment ...

Man... to be separated from icecream... oh and your family too, I suppose :lol: It's great. When are you posting the next part? :wink: Working on it now ^^

Meh all I can say that it is ok for now. Need to see more of the story for me to come up with a comment.

Hey guys, there is going to be another debate in 2 weeks time. We have won the last debate and now hoping to win this one. This is how the ...

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Andy Lo and I am the second speaker on our team. Today, I will be talking about what are family values, why ...

Hey guys. I'm looking for critques for my debate. It's on the above moot and I desperately seek any help avaliable. Any advice offered here I'll take into careful consideration. ...

Hrmm for some reason, I like this pic even though I really don't like freckles on characters. The feckles gave me an idea that she was some tomboyish farm girl ...

I find your characters boring. There is little to no plot and everything was...well boring. Think on this on how you can make this more entertaining.

Hyea Jenna ^_^ My book is a fantasy, based on re-occurring dreams I've had over the past couple years. I finally decided to take them and put them onto paper, ...

Like I said, this is good and the characters make me want to read this more. It's funny that I told you to make this a fantasy, as I plan ...

Hrmm this is ok. The idea to this is alright. The problem is that some bits in your story doesn't fit with the setting and the action that it is ...

I finished chapter 3 and can't be bothered going on as it was starting to get cliche. Your characters all seem to be nothing but weak. Seriously.They seem to have ...

Ok please space your paragraphs. I had a struggle in reading this. -He was wanted four murdering five cities and three villages, but hopefully she didn’t know that.- This bit ...

First of all, can you please space your paragraphs? Ok onto nitty gritty of chapter 1 -The amount of killings was rising, and these humans were killed like all the ...

-Dawn had finished all her homework at Study Hall. - Isn't there meant to be a "the" in front of Study Hall? -The loong hike up the stairs- Typo hon ...