Squall

8.5/10 I like the brightness and emotion of the pic. Omg maple character pic lol.

Name: Raya Cooper Age: 16 Eye colour: Brown Hair: Long and dark Physique: Medium height, slim Education: In college Pros: Friendly (has lots of friends at school), out going and ...

Haha I like Quinn's personality. She seems to be quite open and active and doesn't really mind showing her "cough" :twisted: You made some grammer and spelling errors. I'm not ...

My God Vernon, you've taken nudity to the extreme haven't you? lol Ok overall I think it was ok in the ideas but here are some problems I had while ...

Nice work. One of the few stories on the fantasy forum that has ever kept my attention. Well done XD I love how you bleneded magical elements in a modern ...

Prelude In the time of your Ancestors, there was a brave tribe that decided to cross the great sea that they lived by, to create new settlements. And so they ...

First off, violent misuse of ellispes!! That is '...' a technique for suspense in an unsuspensful story, it just doesnt work, Disrupts the flow. There were quite a few minor ...

Yet a strange part of him, an animal instinct begged her not to stop, to keep draining his energy so he would be soulless like her. -- Is soulless spelt ...

Posted a quarter of chapter 1.

I concur, he has improved from his previous works. I read them and I was like "Man this story owns the other ones badly."

Hey guys. We lost the last debate barely. We were so stupid. We could have one if we rebutted about the fact that even 18 year olds are influenced by ...

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Andy Lo and I am the second speaker on our team. “It’s not the driving age it’s how we’re driving.” If this ...

Hrmm I liked your setting. Hrmm I don't know much about your characters at this stage. Maybe include more action that tells me a bit more about them?

I like this. It was original and a good read. Though, I think your dialogue might need some work.

Hrmm this is ok I guess. Don't really know who is the other person is but meh. I liked the way on how you describe the change. That's all I ...