Squall

Judging from your descriptions, this takes place somewhere similar to our time? I can really echo what everyone else is saying, not to mention it is too short for me ...

Hi Vernon. I noticed some grammatical mistakes when I was reading this. Missing punctuation, run on sentences etc etc. It really distracts the flow of the story. I had to ...

Nice grammer and word choice. Your sentences connected well and thus I didn't need to push myself to read it. Though, it's a bit short and I don't know what ...

8:55 P.M Ashville Motorway The bridge crossed over the Ashville Harbour, leading into the city centre. On the water’s surface, the reflection of the moon was distorted from the ebbing ...

“Boo yeah, you girls can’t catch me now!” Raya applied her weight into her feet. She began to slide the blades of her skates to the side, tearing the icy ...

Whoa it has been like 3 months since I last posted this and people are still reading it. Maybe I should extend this piece more.

This was good. I love your word choice. Simple and straight to the point. I also liked how the character is already starting to develop a relationship with someone. Makes ...

“I wonder if I take you home, would you still be in love baby, in love baby.” Espona grabbed the cable of Raya’s ipod nano and pulled the ear piece ...

Hrmm interesting. I liked your word choice and what the character thought of the cave. I wished the sentences were more linked though. It seems to jump from one thing ...

Haha this was a crack up lol. Lucy I could have never come up with that. I can't really think as openly as you. I love how you combine the ...

I'm going to buy a Wii specifically for the purpose of playing the new Smash Bros game, lol. Play me online at it. I'll kick your butt :twisted:

8.5/10 Love the contrast and brightness of the picture and the emotion it portrays.

Hrmm I think the first half of this was kinda boring. Not enough substance in the first half to entertain me. It was like watching some black and white people ...

“The stars are still clouded?” Raya was gazing at the dark sky, blanketed by the ebbing clouds. The garden was illuminated throughout by night lamps, placed in each of the ...

I like this. Simple and straight to the point. I can picture the stars and how we all at times gaze at them and wonder "What is the real meaning ...