Squall

Maybe I should read it. I've seen some copies of it in my school library.

Hey Daniel. Now that is what I call a prologue! Right into the action! I liked how you describe the temple and the emotion it portrayed. It was intruging and ...

Hrmm this was ok. I think you could had added more description to the characters and the environment and develop the characters more. The problem I had was when Adanya ...

Name: Zenbell Race: Arcanite Age: 20 Hair: Silver Eyes: Black Appearance: Tall and slim. Wears special black robes. Though not physically strong, he does have some muscles. Personality: Does not ...

This was ok. The problem with is was that it somewhat lacked descriptions in terms of the background. You had it in some places but I wasn't really painting a ...

Hi there. I've read your welcome and I'm glad you have such a fancy for fantasy. I hope you're a fan of Final Fantasy. Onwards to my critique. To me, ...

Thanks for the help guys. I've edited it so it doesn't read like an info dump now (I hope lol)

I'm not a fan of love stories but you did this very well. It was straight to the point and flowed along nicely. The way it was written was nice ...

Oh my god! I love this. You used the right amout of description to allow us to be able picture the scene. And hell, it is like Final Fantasy lol. ...

Hahahah. I like ideas in this story. Hacking wizards...lol. It was also quite funny in some bits and made me want to read more. Now for the bad stuff. You ...

I liked the ideas portrayed in this. It has this mystery element that drove me to read on. I didn't expect beads to have that kind of effect haha. You ...

I liked the flow of this story. It was simple and easy to understand. The ideas in this story were similar to some of the asian soaps that I've watched. ...

Chapter II: Law and Magic Before she placed the cellphone back into the pockets of her skirt, Pikara looked at the time, displayed at the top right corner of the ...

I like this. You portrayed the character well with the lyrics. I think this song suits well for rock or rap. It has that snappyness to it. Dunno what you ...

Hrmm this was quite well written. It's similar to how I write and so I followed it easily. Good job on that. I think I need to read the other ...