Squall

I like the 3rd one the best. It has that amazing lighting effect to it and the background was appropriate for the flower. The last one is 2nd best because ...

The third one was my favourite, closely followed by the last one because it seemed interesting to look at. The first and second seemed similar and it was simply clouds, ...

God this was good. Flowed along like a movie and the words you used created a crystal clear image in my mind. I pictured them talking in this fancy palace ...

Hi Cutie (pinches face lol) His eyes would not leave hers. It was odd, though intimate, and frightening all at the same time. Nice hook. Sets the story up well. ...

Lol sorry I haven't posted on this yet. Been busy with stuff. Gonna post on this tomorrow. Nice work guys so far.

Sup dude. I think I should give you a critque. Khor awoke into a dimly lit room and with the feeling of soft covers pressing against his bare chest. He ...

Hi Nutty. "We had enough, yet, elf?" He leaned in closer, to study his victim closer. such a spirit, he thought. What fun. You used closer twice. That is awkward. ...

The Lady instinctively held the babe I dunno why but the babe bit makes it sound slutty. The rest I don't have problems with. Anyways, hi Jabber, thought I pay ...

Judging from the title, this chapter was quite predictable. I think it could had been more metaphoric or something that doesn't reveal the conflict in the chapter. I won't do ...

Chapter III: The Beach Party “Reception please.” Pikara lay on the bed, her legs dangling off the edge. She twisted the phone cord around her finger impatiently, waiting for the ...

I think this was good. Well described and well imagined. You pictured your MC well. It's quite well written, but jumps too much. I also think you could had characterized ...

Another good chapter. Nice pace and interesting turn of events. I liked chapter 2 more though, because of the mystery that surrounds that chapter. I also noticed you used common ...

Another entry from the famous Jiggly Puff The tables were covered in death. A very strong hook to start the story off. Brightly coloured tents and stalls festooned with every ...

You see, everyone is different in their own way. Some people are tall, and others are short; there are slim people, and then there are the stout ones; also, we ...

Shoot! I let my attitude fall from me like a dead skin from a snake. Awkward phasing. I ask, thrusting one hip out and placing my hand on it. “Did ...