Squall

Hello Laf. A child sits in front of the mirror, her eyes intent upon her own delicate face. With a gentle hand, she strokes her cheek, admiring the softness, the ...

I don't critique parts too, I prefer to review the whole thing. I will definitely contact you then once I finish Circus Pirates! :D ~Yoyo 8) Well chapters count too ...

Hey there. Felix woke with a jolt at the sound of a piercing scream. This is kinda cliche. Main character waking up due to a sound? Not the most original ...

I wanna pinch Camille's face! She's so adorable.

Hey there. I threw my friends lives away so that I would be safe. They were nothing to me; I just dropped them in the dust, like nothing. A war ...

It definately needs colour. The style also seems kinda too simple, even though it's cute to look at. I think it needs some higher degree of technique for it to ...

Hey there JC. I did say that I'm going to read the 2nd chapter XD. I closed my eyes, but something about the footsteps made them weird. Made me listen ...

Hey there. The random bleep of items being scanned echoed through the large, marble-tiled grocery store. Why do you need to be so wordy about a bar code being scanned ...

Hey there. I assume you've played Majora's Mask? "points to your avatar" The times were simple. To the east lay the great sea, and to the west the great mountains. ...

Hey there. Here I am, gnawing on some Possum-y thing, when the sudden, human thought popped into my head. Not a good start. I mean can you describe what the ...

Hey there. This is not a cliff hanger, this is more of an incomplete piece of writing. From this piece, you stated there is a ring filled with power (LOTR ...

Hey there. The first thing I noticed is this piece is way too short. There is not enough information/ showing for serious readers to really get a good idea of ...

Hey there JC, sorry that I haven't reviewed this earlier, I was busy. My heart sank. I knew it was coming, but still, every time somebody actually wanted to talk ...

Hey Timea, I've already talked to you about it on MSN. Here is a little critique of it on here. I already said the first line is cliche; why a ...

Hey there. When I read this poem, I felt that it went off in all directions and there really wasn't anything exciting about it. How exactly does a river cry? ...