Squall

Hey there Loli Kamikaze, and welcome to YWS, your non stop site for all your writing needs. My name is Andy, and I'm one of the instructors on the site, ...

Hello Dreamwalker, and welcome to the Young Writers Society. My name is Andy and I'm one of the instructors on the site. What does this mean you may ask? Well ...

Hey Adam. The tower was busier than ever, the lifts, covered in people, made it difficult for Colin to get around. Covered doesn't seem to be the right word here. ...

Holy crud Overeasy, those look mean as. You should really try to do a shot where its zoomed out more. The camera's facing too close to the icicles so it's ...

Hey there Sparrow, and welcome to YWS. The group up ahead stopped all of a sudden. Dead end. What dead end? The second sentence in this quotation has no subject ...

It's nice to see that you look a little more mature now Vivi.

Hrmm. The foots seem to be a bit off. It doesn't look as though they are connected with the body all that well (especially the right foot). The body itself ...

Hey there VampireBloodrace. Iris and Koda stood behind me, both their expressions shocked like mine. This can be simplified. "Iris and Koda stood behind me, shocked as well." Aton faked ...

Hello *singerofthenight* "arrives in the form of a thunder cloud." It's funny how your life can change in a moment. One moment, you could be laughing with your best friend ...

Hello FinalFreedom. A rancid smell filled my lungs; a mixture of body odor and human feces. Cringing, I tried to bring my hand up to pinch my nose. If the ...

Hello Chey. The wind caught in the park trees. I do not like this sentence for a number of reasons. Firstly, your preposition of "in" doesn't fit. Wind can't enter ...

Hey there Heather, I am back :D The shopping bags slicing and dicing my fingers are evidence of that. A little nit-pick, but how is the narrator carrying those bags? ...

Hello again KJ. As I promised. The sun was about to rise, and I obviously couldn’t leave in broad daylight. There was nothing to do but head back to the ...

Greetings Ashleylee. Darkness crept in from either side of her. She could feel it; it’s fingers snagging on her cloak and sending icy waves down her spine. This is cliche. ...

Hey there SeleneForeverDream. It burned, made my eyes water, but he didn’t stop. Wait...what is making the narrator burn? Why did it have to end like this when my life ...