SporkPunk

**Just a suggestion but maybe your character could run into Boomer while she's running? I couldn't think of a good way to put you in otherwise. Sorry. :/***

Hi! Welcome to YWS! I'm going to try my hand at reviewing this. I can't really critique syntax or grammar because, well, the poem is essentially onomatopoeia. As interesting as ...

Hi! SporkPunk here to review your work. :D I'm still new to reviewing poems, so I apologize if any of this is off. :D I'm not going to go through ...

Hi! Sporks here to review. :D Grammar: I didn't really find anything, though I am going to be extremely nitpicky for a second: “Her name’s Rachel, she’s pretty wild if ...

Hiya peanut! SporkPunk here to review your work. :] Red is grammar, green is word choice, and purple is my commentary. My fingertips tingle as they drum against the script. ...

Troy//Nolan//11:34PM "...that's so cool," I mumbled, looking down at my watch. I noticed the time--it was late. I looked back at Boomer. "I'm going to head back to my place, ...

[bTroy/Nolan/11:31pm[/b] I stood up, brushing the back of my pants off. "You're not gonna try that again, are you?" "Not if you leave my music alone." "Fair enough," I nodded, ...

Troy/Nolan/11:24 PM I looked around, panicking. The last time I heard a siren like that was when I entered Nox, and this silvery fox showed up. It was so bright ...

I thought of something like that! :D I edited it already.

Troy Callahan/Nolan/11:21 PM Holy mother of Nox...what is that noise? My hands covered my ears and I could focus only on that terrible pitch. I closed my eyes and tried ...

Oh! I see what you mean. And I don't mind the nitpicks at all. It's helpful. Hahaha. xD

Troy Callahan//Nolan//11:18 PM Okay, so dish-girl was kind of a weirdo, even by Nox standards. I could deal with that. In fact, I found it interesting. Her push to the ...

I fixed it, would you guys mind looking at it and telling me what you think? :D

Troy Callahan//Nolan//11:15 Behind my Spiderman comic, I read a book. I wasn't usually a fan of Henry David Thoreau, but his work intrigued me. Civil Disobedience. Obviously banned by Eden...but ...

9/10. It's really cool, and makes me think of toughness and all around awesome. xD