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Re: Untitled- Chapter 1
Please let me know if you have any title ideas Waking I awoke with a start, my head swimming and my mind thick with fog. I lay on dirty concrete, ...
May 26, 2011 -
Re: When no-one is around
I found this more amusing than serious. It was well written and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Keep it up :D
May 26, 2011 -
Re: The Girl Who Never Was.
I liked the concept and the image with feeding her pain to the wolves (I just LOVED that). The punctuation seems forced and repetetive, more to follow the rules than ...
May 26, 2011 -
Re: Button Man's Jazz - Chapter One, Part One
MUST...READ...MORE!!!!! Your writing style is fluid and beautiful and I've been sucked into this. One issue is the fact that Harmony is aa girls' name and I find it difficult ...
May 26, 2011 -
Re: Branded- Prologue
This is just a short first draft, I uploaded it because I felt that I needed to get a start on it or it would sit unfinished forever. It sucks, ...
May 20, 2011 -
Re: Truth
Stranger will you help me? I like how the only other person is 'stranger' I can’t quite recall who I am. In the mirror I see, damage of my scam. ...
May 17, 2011 -
Re: Button Man's Jazz - Prologue
Hey Socks. You just had to go and flatter me in the private message and make me feel guilty if I didn't immediately read this, didn't you? Of course. Anywho ...
May 17, 2011 -
Re: The Devil Keeps
Please note this was a five second scribble and is NOT my best work When I was a young girl, I could never leave my house. My window was my ...
May 17, 2011 -
Re: A Call to Arms
Hey this was a really good piece, here are my comments: I'm trapped in this dream, Of sand dust and mirages. Of dark crusted blood, Of sinister images. Of broken ...
May 13, 2011 -
Re: My Daddy, The General
This was an entertaining piece. The way you began each stanza maintained interest throughout your poem and it makes me glad that I've never had a strict father figure. Even ...
May 13, 2011 -
Re: A thimble, a rose, and a ring.
Agreed. THIS. WAS. BEAUTIFUL!!!!
May 3, 2011 -
Re: Messages
Other than the punctuation (already dealt with) I really liked this poem. Keep up the good work :)
May 3, 2011 -
Re: Broken Glass Girl
She was born with a glass heart. Harsh words enough to make it break, And when it fell apart, They left it shattered in their wake. She gets on her ...
May 3, 2011 -
Re: Resentment
I liked the poem but the fractured lines took away from the emotion and I felt that there should have been more imagery used.
May 3, 2011 -
Re: Teenage Emergency
You mess with their head, Make them think you’re in bed. Instead, you’re out chugging beer, Singing drunken cheers, You fight until somebody’s dead. Your wrists are all scarred, Your ...
May 3, 2011
