Sorsha2

Okay, here is an attachment of what I've reviewed so far. I've leaned more towards rewriting a few passages, scentences that I thought didn't flow very well or make a ...

Another great addition. I'm not much for grammatical errors so here I go an the few holes in your story. I thought the Pixie thing was exceedingly random. I'm fine ...

Wow. I never took either of those two into consideration. You've given me very good points to work with. I am extremely grateful :)

Here is the first half of chapter two from my story. Reviews, critique and comments are welcomed and appreciated :) ************** Chapter Two***************** Dismounting her steed with speed and pre

I like how you're creating tension between Gen and Mark. One thing I find confusing is knowning when they are in the form of a wolf and when they're in ...

Why are we jumping from the present to the past? Perhaps you should half a brief paragraph before hand outlining why this is necessary. Maybe Gen is having a dream ...

I think this piece has potential. There are just a few things I noticed that I think you need to work around to enhance the piece. In the beginning you ...

thank you both so much for the reviews and comments :) MG - to answer your questions, Baymir is a few hours from Finalia where the Council is stationed. They ...

* continuation of chapter one part a and the end of chapter one* “It’s the senate.” Sorsha said at last, her voice cool and calm but undeniably firm and authoritative. ...

They assigned Jeff to watch over me for the night. It was an odd feeling--to pity the guard standing over you. But I did pity him, even as I was ...

The eyes of my family bored into my back, and I hunched my shoulders defensively. You don't hunch your shoulders defensively. Its usually seen as a sign of weakness, sorrow, ...

Thanks again for your review. I am glad that you're enjoying the story. I will take your comments and revision into account when I edit the segement. :)

Thanks again for your review. I am glad that you're enjoying the story. I will take your comments and revision into account when I edit the segement. :)

hey thanks for the review :) I will look it over in more depth there are just two of your questions/statments I wanted to address... one) the paragrpahs were broken ...

I woke in a familiar room. My entire body ached, my skin burning with raw heat. A low whimper escaped my lips, quieter than I had hoped because my swollen ...