SophieSays

Hi, I'm Sophie. Comments are in red. The demonic voices ring through my head. Give in. Give up. They whisper to me sweetly. (I like the first two sentences, but ...

Hey Jess, Welcome to YWS! I also live in the UK, I'm Sophie and I'm fourteen. I prefer fantasy/magical realism to science fiction, although I have enjoyed a few dystopian ...

This is a nice idea, and I like some of your lines. I agree with BlueRaspberry about starting every line with 'I'. I also think that you should either focus ...

Hi, I enjoyed this, it has a very nice voice to it, although I did have to read it twice. You do switch tenses a couple of times, but you ...

Thanks both of you. You've both given me some stuff to think about and I am definitely going to do a rewrite now. I am also going to take another ...

I have posted the second part of my story. It used to be called 'The Man in the Top Hat/Emilie's Diary', but it's now changed to 'Clements, Lemon and Crunch'. ...

Thanks everyone! I decided not to post this in Fantasy Fiction as at the moment the fantastical elements are a minor part. Here is a link to the second part: ...

Hey, I'm another Sophie that lives in England, although I'm fourteen. It's nice to meet you! This is a great place to get feedback - I'll keep an eye out ...

I agree that this piece needs a stronger 'voice'. It's images are very nice, but I have no idea about who is seeing them. Are they a child or a ...

Reading that letter made me genuinely sad. I thought the narrator sounded much younger in the first paragraph than the she did in the second, unless this was intentional? It's ...

I gave this a 'like' - it's a clever idea. I think all the nitpicky bits have been pointed out, so I'll just focus on it overall. I thought the ...

I really enjoyed this! It was amusing and reminded me a bit of 'Matilda' by Hilaire Belloc and Augustus Gloop (?) from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory! And I mean ...

Both are done! :D

Sophie - Here to review! I really enjoyed this. Most of the nitpicks have already been mentioned so I think I'll just critique the chapter overall. Even though I hadn't ...

Hi! Sophie here to review - as requested! I really enjoyed this. You are very good at world-building and the characters are already very well developed - and I haven't ...