Snoink

4. Do NOT lie to author's to get positive reviews on your own work (OR for any other reason). I can't count the number of times I've seen less-than-mediocre poets ...

Hehehe... okay. Her purpose needs to be explained now. Either that, or you have to give us a description of what she looks like, a better one that is very ...

Okay... before I critique, answer this: You say he is alone, right? WHERE does the woman come from?

Her charcoal spheres pointed to the sky. Charcoal spheres? What's that supposed to mean? I've thought of three possible things, but two are rather... erm... strange. You might want to ...

I'm going to like... poke you and tell you to write more than English essays, hehe.

Not necessarily. I mean, you're going to have to identify with your character whether you like it or not, so the more you get to know your character, the better ...

They can do a lot of things. They can: fiddle with their hair pull a string hanging loose from their sweater lick their lips glance at a clock kick out ...

You have all these lines that start with "when I..." but they have no conclusion to them, drifting off to another "when I..." This is weird and makes the poem ...

I like the personification of Lonely as a male form... that's awesome and I think it really makes the poem as much as it does. I especially like the narrator's ...

It's not bad, but there are several places like, "WHOA!" Like the line with the meteor. It makes you tongue skid like a car on dry ice. So basically, I ...

Haha... okay. Ellipses First of all, YOU'RE USING THE ELLIPSES WRONG. *dies* Okay. Delete the two ellipses here: “…How?” Fletcher found himself repeating stiffly. “Consolidated, you know. Last

27,500 (but I cheated) Haha, how? I'm about 1500. :? He started with an existing story, methinks, lol.

Yeah, that's what we Americans think brackets are. ^_^ But, in King's English, brackets and parentheses are the same. :)

Cassie, you're insane. And slightly scary. O_o

Basically? Don't make it an angst-laden trip on the character's emotions. Just because your character is so woeful doesn't mean you should put it in first person "so we get ...