Snoink

Interesting. I like the parts about the ocean, simply because DUDE. The ocean is awesome! With that said, I think I would rather you edit this down to just the ...

The poem is pretty cool (it reminds me of me playing with legos, yay!) but it could do with just a little bit more editing. Your readers know about lego ...

I don't know. It's kind of strange. Stanzas 1 & 3 and stanzas 2 and 4 go together with style, but stanzas 1 & 2 and stanzas 3 & 4 ...

Hehehe... you know you're a Beatles fan when you hear the lads singing the chorus of "All You Need is Love" while reading this poem. XD Okay. Enough of that. ...

Haha... Okay. Let's strip this down, shall we? I'm going to take out all the adjectives and adverbs of the poem. Then we'll see what's left. The time of night ...

This poem is truly brilliant. ;) As for adding? I'm too lazy for that, BUT! I think, if you're going to add on to it, I would add it on ...

Yeah... this poem is very awkward. It seems like a string of clichéd "you can do it!" sort of messages. You might have pulled it off, except it didn't really ...

The first stanza meanders a lot and doesn't seem to say anything. I mean, obviously it has imagery and everything, but it doesn't say anything, so I want to stab ...

I would probably scrap the first stanza, mostly because it talks too much about "I" and not enough about the subject matter. So the poem officially starts at the second ...

Eep. Yeah, if she truly is obsessed with language, you're going to want to make it much more prettier. Or startling. I don't know... it's definitely too plain. Try to ...

It's a little wordy, no? "it's been another bad week," you say with a slice, I would prefer the word "day" as opposed to "week." bleeding your broken words out ...

Aw, this shouldn't be rated R. ;) Okay. So I thought it was really really long. Add that fact to the one where it has boring imagery, it doesn't shine. ...

Instead of "of knowlage," it should be "of knowledge." Remember... spell check is your friend! I don't know... I think that these lines are rather redundant, as far as poetry ...

Aww... I love dog poems! A suggestion for you: you don't have to tell us your exact experience with the dog. In fact, I like it vague so that I ...

Beautiful or not, please stay on topic and critique the art. If you want to debate, do it in the appropriate section.