Snoink

This is pretty. Edit it, if you must, but as it is, it's a lovely poem.

I like this part, because it actually talked about what the main character did rather than just her feelings: 'Jenny, Jenny, Jenny is dead. Murdered by someone, with a guilty ...

This poem is all about the narrator. Unfortunately. Masks may be a good image, but it depends on the mask. If I use my incredibly wild imagination, the "you" in ...

Awwww... so cute! This poem makes me want to snuggle it.

Hehe... ;)

This is an info dump. Keep it, for your own information purposes, but don't use it in your story. Start with chapter one, with your characters and plot, and describe ...

Okay. I shall critique the prologue. Ready? Set? Go! “No,” The woman gasped, “What are you doing?” A man walked towards her with a knife. Well... I got to admit, ...

u da schnizman

Remember, spellcheck is your friend. Picture this if you will: you are walking in the grocery store and a whiny two-year-old is flailing his arms aroun and screaming, "No! No! ...

Thanks for the trial by fire, guys. I really do appreciate it. :) I gave it a major overhaul and, while I am far from suggesting that it is free ...

For Jennafina I am dead. My execution is tomorrow and I know what to expect. My hands will be tied and I will be hooked to a wagon, where I ...

Heheh, we have a couple of penpals on YWS, lol.

Hehe, I know! I hate writing them because, in the end, it's like, "Look at me, I look awkward!" And then you get people coming in to read all this ...

I edited this a little, correcting the misspelling of straitjacket (I had written it as strait jacket). I also tweaked one paragraph, added a line of dialogue, and switched around ...

Aw.... this isn't quite a proper story yet. You introduced your character and the conflict, so now you need to have a conclusion! What happens at the end? Good luck ...