Snoink

:D

1) Carl needs to have testosterone implants. Seriously. Carl in my mind looks like this: 2) The woman reminds me of the people who go to Wal-Mart. Poor [s]Kenneth[/s] Carl. ...

Ouch. People are stealing from the government in the worst ways possible. O_o

Hehe, you had some pretty amusing typos. ^_^ He had short gelled black hair and pail white skin. pail = You want pale. :) Get a holed of yourself Sam... ...

It's too vague to be really powerful. Right now, you have a rambling, image-less poem and there seems to be no feeling involved. Take a deep breath. What do you ...

Lol! Well, vagueness can be used for good, not evil, and in this case it's good. SoIthink it's more of a judgment call, and you just have to be very ...

I like the beginning, because it is slightly ambiguous. Instead of telling us exactly what is happening, you use details that are not too specific and we can form our ...

The main qualm I had is it seems to be the Judeo-Christian God that you're talking about, and yet you never mention Jesus at all. Which is weird, because the ...

1) Do not comment on your poem. I deleted that post. 2) Poems that have smilies in them should be kicked into submission. Why? Smilies are cheesy. And they make ...

At last! Something in this section I can really sink my teeth into! Can't speak as to when I'll be done, but would you prefer a posted or PMed critique? ...

I like to have my instant messengers on, and then I'll rant to people about how sucky my writing is, and they'll tell me to shove it and continue writing. ...

Twit's right. The first example that you had made me twitch and want to curl up and die. ;) I made this... hopefully it'll be helpful?

This is showing because, instead of saying, "her father had precise ideas about cigarettes," it is describing his ideas about it, and so on. So, even though the narrative is ...

If you want, you can always instant message me. I love idea brainstorming, but I prefer to do it in real time. ;)

XD Love it! And perfect subject matter... ;)